If Only My Metabolism Matched My Attention Span.

I used to have an attention span.  Really, I did.  As a child I could spend hours reading a book, or playing cards, or backgammon or whatever.  Now, there is absolutely no question that I have ADHD.  Or ADD.  Or, quite simply, JWTFiGoH (Just WTF is Going on Here)?

I no longer seem to be able to go from Point A to Point B in one straight line.  Either physically or mentally.  My last 15 minutes have been as follows: I should really write a post about something. I think I'll nuke some broccoli.  Type in the name of the post and part of the first paragraph.  Go to iTunes, download a song.  Think about downloading some more.  Nope, let me go back to writing the post.  WTF am I watching on TV at the moment?  Comment on someone's post on facebook.  Type a bit more.  Oh, I should take my empty broccoli bowl to the kitchen. Get up (or slide down, my bed is a bit higher than standard but then again, I am a bit shorter than standard) and let loose with the usual string of invectives that accompany any movement made once all of my joints have frozen up from sitting for all of 6 minutes.  Return from the kitchen with some pistachio nuts.  It's the lowest fat nut you know. Seriously, what is on my TV?  Scroll through the channel channel.  Switch over to "Little Miss Sunshine".  Oh shucks, man - why isn't this one of the High Def channels?  Crap, now I need a fresh Diet Coke.  Exchange empty can for full one.  Alright then, what was I writing about?

Oh yes, then there are the times I find myself in a room but have no idea why I am there.  The small lounge off of my bedroom is a room that I refer to as "The Room of French Farce".  It is maybe 8 x 10 but there are five (yeah, I said it, FIVE) doors off of this room - so when I come to the inevitable halt in that room and ask myself what in the fresh hell is it that I was going to do, this room is of no help whatsoever.  It is merely a portal to several other places.  Am I doing laundry?  Was I getting something from the kitchen?  From the bathroom? From the cupboard?  From the back fridge? Am I leaving the house?  It often just ends up with me back in my bedroom trying to remember what it was I was trying to accomplish in the first place. 

Oh, sorry I'm back again, just went over to fb for a minute. 

Hey, look - the guy  from "Breaking Bad" is in "Little Miss Sunshine". 

Right, the attention span thing - I blame it on the whole "multi-tasking" movement.  What the hell happened to just tasking?

Why do we need to move faster? Why do we have to have everything right now?  Patience used to be a virtue - now the three minutes it takes to boil a cup of water for tea just seems WAY too long.  As foretold in the book of Eagle: "Life in the fast lane - surely makes you lose your mind.  Life in the fast lane - everything - all the time".

I believe that the philosopher, West, summed it up nicely when he said:

Work it, make it, do it, makes us
Harder, better, faster, stronger

N-n-now that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer

I have already wandered aimlessly for over a half a mile in a very small space today. 

I have also just gone back to iTunes and downloaded that Kanye song.  Now I am listening to it, dancing from the waist up and typing...

Nope, wait here - full dance break!

I have the attention span of a hummingbird - if only my metabolism matched my attention span...