NOW I feel old. For most of my life, I’ve more often than not been the person to whom others came when they had questions about pop culture - “celebrities”, music, lexicon and the like. I may have to use a cane these days, my balance and gait over the years have deteriorated from Igor to Joe Cocker, but were I to be questioned as to my ability to “Whip & Nay Nay” I can answer in the affirmative with a “Watch me!”.
All that aside, I’m afraid the emoji/emoticon movement has left the train station without me. I cast no aspersions on those who use these symbols – it’s like organized religion, camping, yoga pants and kale – I enjoy that they exist because they bring joy, comfort and/or grace into the lives of many people of whom I am fond - but please don’t try to involve me.
I like words. And punctuation (not the kind which when put together are supposed to form some sort of a message – like using a “p” that is apparently meant to be someone sticking their tongue out at you – but it’s sideways - so I initially thought it was “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”).
I understand that hieroglyphs were quite helpful to the Egyptians between 3500 BCE – 400 CE but even they dropped this writing system (“Mike, Come here – what do you think that hieroglyph is? Camel? Is it camel? ). I saw a comment on someone’s post recently that was completely in emojis. I have no idea what most of these little signs mean individually, let alone strung together. There are so many of them. They’re tiny and quite open to interpretation – what does that face mean? Elation? Ennui? Gas?
I’m also not big on the abbreviations, the LOLs or ROTFLMAO, etc. If someone has posted something that I find particularly funny then I like to give them the respect due and indicate, verbally, that it has made me laugh in an audible fashion, at the very least.
I do like “WTF” however, I use the F-word enough as it is so it’s nice to have another option. Anyway, I feel that “WTF!” conveys more immediate shock and incredulity than spelling it out for some reason.
Suddenly, a couple of weeks ago, a pause over an innocent “Like” made a number of very colourful images pop up. A sort of smiley face acid flashback:
For those of you with whom I Facebook, and for the avoidance of confusion, I include herewith a translation of what I mean if I ever use one of these deals:
Like: I will continue to use this, as before, for almost everything: I like you, I like your update, video, article, cause; I support you in your efforts, I did not mean that I “liked” the fact that the person died but the obituary is lovely, and, Oh honey, you posted this thing 17 hours ago and no one has “liked” it yet? Here ya go.
Heart: Still gonna use < + 3.
1st Face: The meds are beginning to work
2nd Face: Are. You. Shitting. Me?
3rd Face: The meds are wearing off
4th Face: THIS is why we can’t have nice things…
So, while I myself will continue to communicate with words – you crazy emojiphiles, off ya go, have at it!
For the longest time I could not imagine a scenario in which I would want to send someone a cartoon image of a pile of poo. It's all become crystal clear now though given this current election cycle...
