Bite Me!

Oh Yay!  It's almost November - one of the three sweeps periods of the year.  Every show pulls out all the stops competing for the biggest audience.  Or, technically, the most number of viewers.

For reasons I cannot fathom, for talk and entertainment shows this means -  let's dust off the fat suit again and dress some unbelievably tiny woman in it and send her out into the world.  Goody!

After watching her attempt to maneuver her way through life (through the miracle of at least 25 pounds of hidden camera equipment built into the suit), we then get to listen to the once again wee woman weep her way through the narration of the video.  The taunting, the cruelty, the shame, the pity, the agony, the agony, blah, blah.  Fun!

I believe you could improve your viewership even further if you could put someone, like say, me, into the suit of a woman who weighs less than a load of wet laundry. Now, THAT would be something to see.  Magic!

Americans are getting bigger - it's a fact.  A sad one, but a truth nonetheless.  I question the wisdom then, of pissing off such a large demographic.  And yes, I mean it both figuratively as well as literally.

And what if someone, (and again, I will be the example) were able to whip my big brethren into a frenzy - we would be a force to behold!  While I can be very persuasive, I prefer to use my powers for good.  It's just lucky for you that I am lazy as well (but the jolly and light on my feet bits have held me in good stead my whole life.  It's not all doom and gloom, you know).

And so, to all of you air-brushed, impossibly thin "reporters" and "anchors" (all of whom I could probably snap like a twig just by looking at you real hard - but again, I'll be the, uh, bigger person), on behalf of a movement I prefer to call "More Of Us To Love" (or maybe, "Large & In Charge" - I don't know, can't decide) may I say:

Bite me!