I am not so sensitive to smells that I cannot bear any & all scents but I would say that I am a 7 out of 10. It is not out of the realm of possibility that I might have to bathe again upon return from a party before I go to bed. We all have many people in our lives of whom we are most fond but sadly suffer from LSS (Loud Scent Syndrome). I particuarly noticed this when I lived in the West Indies but we are not immune at home. Between the "Hellos" and "Good-byes", by the time I get home I feel as though I have run the gauntlet through the perfume department at Bloomingdale's.
There are also smells which, when found in nature, are a delight to the senses but when made into something artificial are quasi nausea inducing (to me). Roses? In nature, divine! Body Lotion? Gag! The scent of lilacs on an early Montana summer evening is intoxicating. Air "freshener" = "Where the hell is that smell coming from and what is it?".
"That smell" in fact, is what seems to have become the universal scent of so many, many things (irrespective for the most part, of the fruits, flowers and/or herbs listed on the bottle): green goddamn apple. If it's not that, then the smell of whatever it is, is way too much! Who voted on this? The few smells of which I was tolerant have either been discontinued or the scent I loved is now gone and replaced with green flipping apple. Gone is my beloved, dark green, piney Herbal Essence Shampoo. Baby Shampoo is now green mofo apple, which is just simply wrong. I don't know what the scent of Finesse is or I guess was - haven't seen it in a while - just know I liked it and Head & Shoulders, which used to smell like clean laundry now smells vaguely like cedar and makes me think of hamsters.
Did no one learn from the "New Coke" fiasco of the 1980's?
Where in the fresh hell have all the good oxford cloth shirts gone? Now they're all "Easy-care!", "Wrinkle-free!". I hate them. Oh, they say the shirts are 100% cotton but they feel shiny which kinda creeps me out. I've been a loyal cotton wearer for as long as I can remember (perhaps I was recruited and pledged a life-long allegiance to the fabric outside of Best & Company as a small child?) and I want it to look AND feel like cotton, damn it. Cotton wrinkles. Linen wrinkles. I wrinkle.
Do not, however, for one minute think that this means that I wish to actually iron the shirts (or even care enough to bring them to someone else to iron) - but I have developed a brilliant, "oh, it almost looks ironed" technique: first, I've rarely seen the need to un-button my button-downs - waste of time, but I do unroll the sleeves and unbutton the collar before the washer. I let the shirts tumble in the dryer for about 10 minutes and then I pull them out, put them on hangers and kinda tug the rest of the wrinkles out then let dry. I would say that when finished, my shirts and I are about the same amount of wrinkled. More than some, less than others. But WHO decided everyone wants wrinkle resistant shirts? I'm talking to you, Eddie Bauer, BroBro, LL Bean.
Seriously, just who the hell are the THEY that decide things like the green apple conspiracy, or that the word "free" in the National Anthem should now be sung using a vocal run of no less than 37 notes? I know lots of people and none of them are "they" and they don't know anyone who is (are?) "they" so just who then is, "they" anyway and why are they fucking with us?
This morning I awoke to new facebook settings - d'oh! I did then feel the need to point out in a post on facebook that the fastest growing group of people who are using the "internets" and electronics are we - the old, the tired, the loopy. We, the holders of the AARP card. We, the old dogs who are just fine with most of our tricks, thanks and who, as the Baby Boomer Generation, represent an ass-load (standard unit of measurement) of people and really no entity wants to piss us off since we're already cranky. In all honesty though, this is a change that I'll hate until I love it and forget what the last one looked like.
But for the rest of it, I am not a fan of change so please just quit changing shit.
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