I won't camp, don't ask me.

Although I've lived in Montana now for almost 20 years and lived in the West Indies for a great many years as well - there is just no getting all of the "city" out of this girl.  Had I been born a first generation city-dweller perhaps some of this could have been overcome but my mother also grew up in New York and her mother grew up in Chicago - so you see, it's genetic.

I feel the same way about camping as I do about religion - because there are many people, of whom I am fond, who enjoy one or the other (or both) of these pursuits, I am truly glad that they exist BUT because they are anathema to me, please do not try to involve me.  It's kind of you to think of me though.

My needs in life are fairly simple but indoor plumbing and/or there even being a question about a lack thereof, are not a negotiable point.  Ever.  The very reason I get up every day and go to work is so that I can continue to live in the manner to which I've become accustomed: indoors.  To the genetically urban, camping seems rather more like, oh, I don't know, pretending to be homeless. 

The closest I've ever come to camping is a place we love called Chico Hot Springs.  Great hot (really hot) springs, very good restaurant, delightful bar(s) but no tv/internet/room service.  AND for the most part, the bathrooms are down the hall (down the hall!).  Normally, because we usually only go for a couple of nights (wait, did I mention that they had delightful bars? Plus, because we are a civilized people, we have of course packed in a couple of travelling bars, hors d'oeuvres, various accoutrements and quelque chose as well), so the pools, food and cocktails keep us entertained (and/or napping) most of the time.  This is the closest that the genetically urban come to roughing it.

And so, on this impossibly perfect Montana summer weekend, I am mentally raising a glass and toasting all of my friends who will be sleeping outside, with the bugs, and the bears, maybe mountain lions - we just don't know - and wishing them nothing but the funnest time ever in their faux-homeless (henceforth to be known as "fomeless") games. 

But me?  I won't camp, don't ask me.